The Grandfather who still cared
By Geoff Griffiths
It’s not often that people are referred to the president of a Spiritualist church by the Samaritans, but the lady on the phone told me that’s who she got my name from one Spring day in 1980. The lady, Jan C, had a neighbour who was distressed because her house, she thought, was being haunted.
That a married quarter in Tidworth – a house built only a dozen years or so before – should be haunted, I thought unusual. And anyway, that wasn’t our line of country. But as her story unfolded, the problem seemed a little less primitive than the usual ‘bumps in the night’ variety.
The neighbour, Wendy V, was awakened each morning by a distinct tap on her shoulder. Now the ‘Barbanell doctrine’ says, “never accept a psychic explanation for an event, if a rational one fits the facts”. And as her infantry trooper husband was on exercise in Cyprus for a six-month spell, my first thought was that Wendy’s problem was an emotional one. But there were other features. Notably, in the night, her four and a half year old daughter kept crying out “There’s a man in my room.” And she could see him whilst she was fully awake. Also, a depressing atmosphere pervaded the house, which even Jan C could feel on entering her friend’s house.
The next week, I called at the house with Karen, my wife, who is a clairaudient medium. The door opened to reveal the stairs behind Wendy and daughter, Kirsty, who sat about six steps up, watching us, smilingly. She was so pretty that we wondered for a moment if she was real. She was ushered up to her room and Wendy, who was a very shy lady, told us much what Jan C had already related.
I started counselling her in a fairly amateur way, just to get things moving. After a moment or two, I noticed that Karen’s attention had drifted away from the conversation. She motioned me to shut up and let the expert take over.
She spoke to Wendy. “Has the little girl got a grandfather in spirit life?” she asked.
“Do you mean dead?” Wendy asked, somewhat darkly. Karen nodded. “Yes,” answered Wendy.
“I’ve got a short man here in his mid-fifties.” “He was 56.”
“He was very wiry and energetic.” “Yes, that would be him.”
“I feel he died from a cancer condition, but the passing seems almost too quick for that.” “It was cancer, but he did go downhill very rapidly.” It transpired that his passing occurred just ten days after diagnosis.
“I feel he worked in the catering industry?” “Yes, in a hotel kitchen.”
“He had tattoos on both his arms.” “Yes.”
“And he had a violent, even vicious, side to him.” “He had, but never to me and the baby, as Kirsty then was.”
Wendy V explained that Kirsty was from a previous relationship born before she met her husband and she had lived with Kirsty’s father until his violence became too much. The grandfather had often defended Wendy against his son.
Karen continued: “Look, I feel there is someone the grandfather is concerned about who has a serious illness about him.”
“Yes, that’s possible”, Wendy responded, “I went back home to Gloucester last weekend and bumped into my former partner’s mother for the first time in 3 years. She told me something had been found on his lung, but no-one knows what it is.”
“He’s telling me there been some trouble about his son’s access to his daughter,” said Karen. It turned out that Wendy had indeed been successful in denying the natural father access to his daughter.
“This is why he is here”, Karen stated. As in life, the grandfather was acting as a go-between. “He wants you to permit access to Kirsty. Whether you do or not is for you to decide. I cannot advise you one way or the other. But if the father is ill, it could be his last chance to see her – and for her to meet him – on this side of life.”
At this point, Karen excused herself and went into the kitchen, as she needed to talk to him privately. She would have felt silly in the living room, talking to somebody whom nobody else could see. He had got his message through, she told him, and he was only causing distress by keep coming back in the way he was. Karen told me later that he was a very strong character – quite intimidating – so she had to match that strength, which was how she got through to him.
Wendy had quickly grasped the situation, thanked us, and said she would get in touch with the family in Gloucester.
A week later, I phoned Jan C, as she was the one with the telephone. I was told that Kirsty had had no more visitations, nor had Wendy been disturbed and the atmosphere had completely changed since Karen’s dialogue with the Grandfather.
At least nine out of ten ‘hauntings’ turn out to have a normal explanation. But on occasions it can be the spirit of a loved one who still cares, making what announcements of his presence he can. Unless someone comes along who is sensitive enough to articulate his message in our world, most of these promptings go unheeded. Such was not the case in this instance.
During the 1980s, Karen became ill and has, since the mid-1990s, been largely bedridden. Her last demo was in September 1990, when she did a double hander with Minister Matthew Smith at Wilton Spiritualist Church in aid of Salisbury Hospice. Quite a loss to the movement.
This article was originally published in “Spirit of PN”.
Copyright:: Geoff Griffiths
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